Friday, April 20, 2012

Changing my Heart

Where to begin. I have been sitting here the past 10 minutes staring...

Oh! It looks like Easter is where i last left off :)
Well this year since i wasn't home with family I decided a way to make this Easter special was to make my own dress for church on sunday. Wearing my best work and using the gift God gave me felt really good!
I was a beautiful Easter Sunday :)

I tried a new work out! I totally kicked my butt to the max! But it was totally worth it. I feel so much stronger. Now if you are going to do this I would reccommend starting slow and not doing the full 100. Maybe half it first then work your way up. But it truly is amazing!!
I did the leg lifts wrong...I didn't know what they were!! haha so the way I did them worked out my butt and OH BOY!!! HARD CORE!!

On a more serious and life changing note, here is a snipit from my journal the other day,

"Today I woke up and got ready to meet with the missionaries. It seemed like it would be a great day. As the missionaries arrived in their car I all of a sudden got a sick and uneasy feeling. I had never felt this way before, meeting with the missionaries, so I said a quick prayer in my heart for comfort even though I don't know why I was feeling this way. The Elders walked up to me and you could tell that something was off and he asked if I had heard the sad news... I said no? I dont know.. And He continued to tell me that the hit and run that happened outside of my apartment complex last night involved Lydia, this sweet Chinese CP and member of the church. She passed away. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know Lydia very well, but for the time i did have with her and what i did know I had grown such a deep and everlasting love for her and I began to cry. We were supposed to talk about the bible study I'm going to the next day, which we did but only for a moment. Then we were able to talk about the Plan of Salvation for a while. It helped me a little but it was still a little too much to take in so fast. Of course I know the plan of Salvation is true, I know it, but for some reason I could not stop crying. Heather came and joined our lesson. I finally composed myself and felt peaceful. The Elders asked what they could do for us and we actually said that we would like a blessing. But i had to rush off to work. I got on the bus for work and as I got to Hollywood studios and was about to step off I got a call from my mother and she told me that my grandpa Adams passed away. ... I broke down crying and went in to talk to a manager so I could go home. I texted the missionaries and told them what happened and asked if they could give me a blessing as soon as I got back. It was a miracle they were still at vista and were able to give me a blessing right there. Elder Hanson gave me the blessing and through the priesthood told me that i would be blessed with comfort in this trying time of my life, that i have such a burning testimony of this gospel and that I am going to be an anchor for those around me. I will be able to remember the Plan of Salvation and of Gods love for me. 
It has been such a bitter sweet day. I mourn that I won't see them on earth for a while but I am happy to know that I will be able to see them again and that they are in a better place."

Looking back it is so cool to see how perfectly everything worked out. I know I was given that uneasy feeling so that i would recognize that i needed comfort today even though I had no idea why yet. Also I needed to leave the missionaries to go to work so that i could have some time to myself on the bus talking to my family and pondering alone. The missionaries were still at Vista Way not by chance to give me a blessing when i got home. Heather called off work not only because she was in a weird mood but because I needed to be with a friend the rest of the day.

It is so hard to see the big picture when we go through our trials, and I still don't see the big picture as to why all this happen and why it happened now but i do know that God is looking out for me and He is looking out for you too. He knows what you are going through and He knows how to help you. Whatever the trial is we can go to Him for help.


Orlando Florida Temple

He knows you. Let Him change your heart. He's changing mine each and every day.

1 comment: